Keeping on going …

Well, I started with good intentions of writing something everyday during Lent … and then sort of stopped just after starting … can’t really put my finger exactly on why – as to what the trigger was – since there have been many days I’ve thought about it, and many things that I wanted to write about … but I do know that it is a pattern that seems to have been with me for a lot (all?) of my life.

I feel like there are many things I start with great energy and then am scared to finish – but still somehow I am waiting for the day when I will.  It is as though I am fearful of really having a go.

I’m still in Sydney right now – primarily because I haven’t arranged my Chinese language training for when I return to China – I want to do it, but am also scared of deciding what and where!

It has now been 25 years since the passing of my father (28 February was the anniversary of his death).  Sometimes I wonder if I have ever really properly grieved … I can still remember a strange thought back at that time – that I would grieve for him when I got my life organised.  Sometimes I wonder if I am still waiting for that moment – and also if the picture I still have of myself is of a 21-year old?

I’m about to go canyoning for the weekend (or that is the plan, though maybe the rain in Sydney over the past 30 hours might change that plan?) – but I certainly my body lets me know when I go to do something physical like this that I am not still 21!

But I decided I would at least post something before I went … so I’ve now achieved something!

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About Rohan

An Aussie trying to make a small difference in the world - currently living in Shanghai, China
This entry was posted in Lent / Easter, Life, Personal Growth, Uncategorized and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Keeping on going …

  1. Caro says:

    The grief we feel at the loss of a loved one is something that stays with us forever, although the way we experience that grief changes with time. Travel gently at this time of anniversary, and remembering your dad, Rohan.

  2. MM says:

    Hope school is going well for you! Your blog misses you, Rohan! (:

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