On being single at the moment …

After pushing through yesterday morning to write my second post (http://wp.me/s18z5n-belief) , I was sure that I could ‘get back on track’ with making an entry at the end of the day … Well, I started to write this third post, but then found myself wondering what to even write about – what would anyone else want to even read?!

I decided to watch a movie quite late last night and over the years have slowly come to realise that I find it difficult to do something else and watch TV or a movie!  And then it was really late and I still hadn’t decided what to write … and easily fell asleep (something that so far in my life has always come easily for me – thankfully – but I know that is not so for everyone!)

On waking then this morning, I felt a little jaded – that “haven’t yet had enough sleep” – and I realised that it is purely from my choices – and mostly only impacts on me … which got me thinking about being single …

Many of you who will read this know that I have not yet gotten married – though I do still hope that will happen at some stage for me – I don’t believe I am ‘called’ to be single. Actually, it is amazing though how many people on hearing that I am single suddenly think that they need to do something about it – I’m sure that their intention is good – but the message that I receive often is as though I have a disease that they need to help me be cured from!  I find this is particularly so amongst people who are Christian and also those who are ethnically Chinese – it seems that many Christians don’t know how to deal with people being single – so their response of trying to marry me off is more about them than me; and in Chinese culture, their is a very strong expectation that young people as they move into the workforce will then get married … and there will be strong family pressure – many young Chinese people may be experiencing that right now, whilst back in their home-town for Spring Festival celebrating the Chinese Lunar New Year.

Things like Valentine’s Day can then be problematic when not in a relationship – yes, it is all meant to be fun etc … but it can just heighten a degree of loneliness.  This year a friend of a similar age to myself expressed such sentiments commenting on a Facebook post – and she didn’t expect anyone she knew to see it – but I did in one of my random moments on Facebook … and then I thought why don’t a few of us “never yet married” people do something that day together!  Often I am guilty of thinking of ideas, but not acting on them – but this one I did!  And so, a group of us went out and had a lovely dinner – some of us knew each other more than others – but that didn’t matter – it was simply nice to simply enjoy dinner without feeling there was any agenda or need to impress or anything else. My only regret: that I wasn’t bolder in following the in-advance suggestion of one of the ladies and getting flowers for each of the ladies present, since they rarely experience that – maybe I was scared it might have been misinterpreted – whereas in fact it could’ve been a lovely blessing.

I was challenged recently by a friend’s post on Facebook where he shared his “Thirteen things in 2013” (actually the same friend I referred to in my first post – see http://wp.me/p18z5n-8 – who is fasting from social networking for Lent), where number one is to tell his wife everyday that he loves her!  I got thinking if I was to make a similar list, what might I write instead of such an entry?  I thought of “praying everyday to find a wife”, but somehow that didn’t sit right. Then I thought maybe it is about working on my character everyday so that I am becoming the man a young lady would be honoured to have as her husband. Well, I’ve got that as an idea … now to work out how to actually do something about that!


About Rohan

An Aussie trying to make a small difference in the world - currently living in Shanghai, China
This entry was posted in Lent / Easter, Life, Personal Growth and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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